Interview with a Fabulous Female

Anita Revel is a self-described "creatrix, author, mother and wife, web diva, dream weaver, lover of life." She is the author of several books and the woman behind Goddess.com.au, a website that helps today's woman connect with her inner goddess. Anita was kind enough to take time from her busy schedule to answer a few of Della Donna editor April Boland's questions.

AB: What sparked your initial interest in goddesses?

AR: The idea of visualizing a woman via the myths of the goddesses appeals to me. The fact that an ancient goddess has been through the highs and lows of the emotional spectrum makes me feel better about myself as a woman. After all, if a goddess can have an "off day," then it must be alright for a mere mortal to have one too, right?

I first became aware of goddess archetypes in a boardroom meeting about 12 years ago. I was being all corporate and so forth (that is, masking my true Self), when one of the girls from the ad agency referred to a colleague as "a real Persephone." I asked her what that meant and she described a personality based on the myth of Persephone - the maiden who was kidnapped to the Underworld. Her interpretation of the myth was that my colleague was a "professional victim," though I now prefer to describe someone with a Persephone personality as someone who is empowered in both the light and shadow sides of her persona. Using the goddess myths as a way of understanding women's motivations, intrinsic morals and natural behaviors just makes sense to me.

AB: What led you to create the website Goddess.com.au?

AR: The more I looked into the goddess myths, the more parallels I found between them and modern women. I began recording my theories online, initially using Goddess.com.au as a repository for my musings (there weren't any blogs back then, so Goddess.com.au was my journaling place)! It wasn't until 2004 when the Goddess-ence 100% pure essential oil blends came into existence that I overhauled the site and made it more meaningful, content-rich, and above all, fun.

AB: Why do you think it is important for modern women to "reconnect with their inner goddesses"?

AR: We're not the first generation to be loaded with stress. In fact, compared with our ancestors I'd say we're the luckiest generation of women to date. We have the freedom to believe in what is right for us, the room to flex our empowerment and unprecedented avenues for expressing emotions on all levels. The key to doing all of these things with dignity and style lies within having a meaningful and rich relationship with Self. It's this healthy and balanced relationship with Self that I call being connected with one's Inner Goddess. When we're connected with the beautiful, inspired, intuitive, sassy and sacred being we were born to be, life is absolutely wonderful.

AB: What first step would you recommend for a woman who has never thought about such things before?

AR: Take the Goddess Birth Sign test and then read a bit more about your birth goddess, research her mythology and her symbolism, and spend some time journaling to find a connection between her energies and your life. Use her as a role model as you come up against certain stresses or situations, asking yourself, "What would goddess do?" You'll be surprised at how this simple little exercise helps you rally your personal power to make the right choices for you.

AB: Is there one particular goddess who guides you?

AR: I resonate with Kwan Yin on a very deep and personal level. I was raised in a house where fear and control ruled rather than love and compassion, so when I "met" Kwan Yin and her gifts of unconditional, unquestioning, undying love and compassion, I was hooked. I willingly and easily fell into her loving embrace, and she's the one whose energies I recall when I'm in need of an esoteric cuddle. Thinking of Kwan Yin as a role model has really softened me and helped me open up to meaningful connections with others.

AB: What is the most interesting thing that has happened as a result of your journey (with the website, the tour, etc.)?

AR: I don't have "most" interesting thing - every experience that reveals itself to me on this journey, whether painful or exhilarating, has been wonderful. I've learned a lot, and now know to trust that everything is perfect in my life. "Everything happens at the perfect time for the perfect reason" is my mantra when I encounter a blockage, and "gratitude" is my mantra at every other time. I've never been so happy!

Interview with a Fabulous Female

Rivka Solomon writes and rabble-rouses on the East Coast, specializing in first-person narratives focusing on women's and girls' issues. In addition to That Takes Ovaries! Bold Females and Their Brazen Acts, Solomon's work has appeared in Bitch Magazine, Bust: The New Girl Order, Feminista!, Lilith Magazine, and WBUR, Boston's National Public Radio news station (on-air essays). Since darn near babyhood, Solomon has been an advocate/activist for women and girls.

A message from Rivka:

Thanks, April, for this opportunity to talk with your readers! First, some background, before I get to your specific questions. That Takes Ovaries (TTO) is a book, an open mike movement, a play and an organizing tool for women's and girls' empowerment. The book is a collection of stories -- true stories -- written by women and girls about times they had been bold and courageous. The TTO open mike events are part of a grassroots initiative because, while our staff lead some of them, they are mainly led by local women from the community. We've held hundreds of them now around the US and abroad. At a TTO open mike, women and girls share their own gutsy acts, while we raise money for good causes and give out golden ovaries awards to all who share a story. The causes we have raised money for range from women's shelters to groups working to end human rights abuses around the globe to Planned Parenthood to Amnesty International. Any woman, girl or organization can lead a TTO event. It can happen in someone's living room or in a public setting. We've held them in living rooms with 10 people and at women's conferences with 600 women in one room. They are fun and allow one to gain experience organizing, leading and raising money for favorite girls' causes. The guidelines for organizing a TTO open mike are at our website, ThatTakesOvaries.org. You can also reach me there to see about inviting me or our staff to lead an event in your community or at your organization or school. Now on to your questions…

AB: What inspired you to write That Takes Ovaries?

RS: Well, really, I wrote the book and the play and am leading a TTO open mike movement for one reason: I wanted to encourage women and girls to lead bold lives and be risk-takers. Then their lives would be fuller, richer, more adventurous and fun -- and also, if they live their lives as risk-takers, then they'd be more likely to stand up for themselves and for others, especially against injustices. We all know you have to be a risk-taker to do that!

AB: When you published the book, did you foresee the movement it would become? What positive impact has the movement had, in your opinion?

RS: When I was editing the book and publishing it, I sure hoped this movement would happen. I am a bit surprised that it did, but also not surprised. That is because it seems to me that many of us are starved for examples of women and girls acting outside the stereotype of passivity and niceness. I am talking about women and men of all ages who want to see their sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts and friends leading empowered lives; mothers and fathers who care about their daughters growing up self-assured and confident; and girls eager to be a part of a REAL (not Madison Ave manufactured) girl power movement. I think a lot of folks are hoping to challenge a culture still wrought with inequality and double standards. So That Takes Ovaries taps into that vibrant mass of women and girls hungry for powerful female role models. THAT is why the open mike movement is still going strong five years after the book came out.

You ask what positive impact the movement has had… Well, I think that along with many other wonderful women's empowerment initiatives that other organizations lead, TTO events contribute to creating real change in the world. Regarding TTO specifically, not only do our events transform the women and girls who partake in them, but then these women, in turn, transform the larger community around them.

It works like this: At our events, women relay stories of their courage to supportive, cheering crowds. This simple but important act affirms the storyteller's confidence and determination to keep taking risks in her life, both personally and politically. And because courage is contagious (this is the tag-line of our organization!), the story sharing that happens at our events inspires audience members to be bold too, both in their lives and at the event itself, where they are motivated to step through their fear of public speaking and spontaneously share their own sassy stories. Stepping through fear and seeing that one can survive the experience encourages a woman to step through her fear again, perhaps in a bigger way for a bigger issue, such as standing up for herself and her rights. In this respect, courage is contagious within an individual too.

When men attend our events, they too are transformed. Men gain a deeper respect for women simply by listening to women tell stories about their courage. Men also share stories about the brave women in their lives -- their mothers, sisters, daughters. That is transformative too! For many male and female participants, this is the first time they will have ever heard a man publicly praise a woman's strength and courage.

Real political change cannot happen without someone willing to step through their fear and take a risk. TTO gives people a place to practice this risk-taking and to celebrate it. Our events have a transformative effect on people's lives long after the night is over. That, I would say, is the most positive impact TTO has.

AB: What are some of the most interesting or inspiring things you have seen result from the book and movement?

RS: Oh, there are many examples of women deciding to take on a challenge or take a step through fear as a result of coming to one of our events or reading the book. For example, we have held many TTO events in India thanks to Mira Kakkar, our wonderful leader there, and to Bobbi Ausubel, our Artistic Director (a.k.a my mom), who has worked there with Apne Aap (www.apneaap.org). Apne Aap is an amazing organization that helps to empower and meet the basic needs of WIP (women in prostitution) who are living in the slums and red light districts, including women and girls who had been forced into sexual slavery via the sex trafficking world. At some of our events, women from different walks of life (upper, middle and so-called lower classes of women) get to meet each other, and that lowers the level of discrimination. In addition, a wonderful thing happened at one of the events: After a few women shared their bold acts of leaving abusive husbands, right then and there an ongoing support group of these women was established. It is called I AM. I am very inspired by that.

AB: Why did you feel there was a need for such a book to be written? What space did it fill?

RS: Oh, this is a big question and will get a big answer!

It is important to me how women and girls are doing, all around the world. I care if girls get to grow up safe, free of violence and sexual assault. I care if women get to develop to their fullest potential without the burden of sexism. I have a passion for the liberation of women and girls everywhere.

I decided to write/edit a book about times women and girls were bold and brave because you need courage to fight for your liberation and to live free of gender role stereotypes and oppression. Thanks to the bold women of previous women's movements, we now have the right to own property, vote and use birth control -- all illegal in the past! We can now wear pants in public places (my mom had to wear a skirt to get into her university library), we can open bank accounts in our own names, we can study and enter any field we want to. Now we have rape crisis centers, domestic abuse hotlines and the common understanding that women are not to be blamed for being raped or hit.

So all that is good. But the truth is that the fight is not over yet, and that's why I wrote and edited the book. Women are still struggling for equal rights, like the right to live without sexual harassment, to live without violence, to walk down the street at night without the fear of being assaulted. The right to not be controlled, hit or beaten by our boyfriends! We still need to fight for the right to have equal representation in our political institutions and in businesses, to receive equal pay for our work, to have safe and easy access to birth control and abortion. And my personal passion: We still have to fight for the right to enjoy the mass media (movies, comedy, music videos) without being bombarded with hyper-sexualized images of women and images that constantly portray women as powerless victims. So THAT is why I wrote this book. I wanted to inspire women to be bold so that more women would become the risk-takers they need to be if they are going to join the effort.

I could also go global on you here. I could mention all the rights that women still need to fight for around the globe, because in many countries the situation for women is much, much worse than here in the U.S. In many countries women are second-class citizens with little or no power. They have no control over their sex lives or reproductive lives, no ability/agency to say "no" to sex, no access to condoms (which could save their lives when you consider HIV/AIDS), no birth control, no access to abortions. International women suffer from acid attacks, female genital mutilation, honor killings, forced marriages during childhood, sexual slavery and prostitution and rape during war. 1 in 3 women will be raped or assaulted in her lifetime. My point is that women have a lot of things left to fight for to achieve even their basic human rights.

AB: What constitutes a "brazen act"?

RS: A brazen act is any time one acts "out of line," not in accordance with the stereotype of what a woman is "supposed" to do. But really, each woman has to define "bold and brazen" for herself, and that is what they do when they take the mic to share a story. For me, I had to define "having ovaries" in order to edit the book, and the best that I could tell, it meant being bold, gutsy, brazen, outrageous, audacious, and/or courageous.

AB: Are you still in touch with any of the contributors? What are they doing now?

RS: There are 64 contributors in the book. I am in touch with some and others I have lost touch with. It took me 4.5 years to write the book, so during that time there were births and deaths, marriages and divorces, etc. It was fascinating to see these 64 women's and girls' lives develop and grow and change.

AB: Has anything unexpected ever happened at a That Takes Ovaries! event?

RS: Well, not unexpected to me, but I think it is often a surprise for women when men take to the mic and brag about their moms, sisters, wives, friends, etc. It is often the first time a woman will have gotten to see a guy publicly praise a woman for her strength and courage.

AB: What are some of the more unique things that organizers have done?

RS: The organizers have a lot of fun with these events. Some blow up pink balloons that represent ovaries. Others decorate the walls with our Ovarian Synonyms (such as "audacious," "sassy" and "mettlesome"). Some have a Wall of Ovaries where women can list their bold acts on a bulletin board. Mira in India has everyone write messages on a sari that hangs on the wall. Some organizers invite local politicians to share their own ovarian act, or a local news anchor. That is always fun too.

AB: How did That Takes Ovaries! become a play? Did you imagine that it would as you were writing/editing it? Has being adapted to the stage changed the book in any way?

RS: Oh, I'm so glad you asked about the play! Based on the stories from the book, the That Takes Ovaries play is packed with the same type of multicultural, fun, sassy, true tales of estrogen-powered deeds that range from playful to political. It has a lot of diversity in it, with the voices of every day females from many ages and cultural backgrounds. It includes lighter stories, such as Joani opening the country's first sex-toy store for women and Alison staging a pee protest to secure wheelchair accessible toilets on campus, to heavier stories such as Ruchira risking her life to help girls trapped as sex slaves in Asia and D.H. Wu, a child, stopping her mother from committing suicide after years of spousal abuse. And it has my personal story of how I wrote this book and started the TTO open mike movement all while very sick with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

While I was editing the stories for the book, I could see the dramatic nature of the narratives, and I thought at the time, Shoot, why not make this into a play? So I did, and I did it with my mother, a playwright from the 2nd wave of feminism, and my father, also a playwright. It was a family affair.

AB: What are you currently working on? What do you see for yourself in the future?

RS: We have re-written the play yet again (we keep fine-tuning it) and hope to get more productions of it going around the U.S. and globally. We are looking for theatrical representation, producers interested in producing it, and theaters interested in hosting it.

Separately, I am considering doing a second TTO book, but I am not sure yet. The first book did well and is in its 5th print run.

Before I sign off, I want to make sure that everyone knows that any woman or girl -- or any organization -- can host their own TTO open mike. Of course they can invite me or my staff to come lead it, or they can do it themselves, even as a fundraiser for themselves. The guidelines and registration (registration is mandatory) for organizing their own TTO open mike can be found at ThatTakesOvaries.org, along with our great colorful and inspiring promo video. Go watch it!

Interview with a Fabulous Female

Voted "One of the Most Significant Women in Entertainment" alongside Halle Berry and Oprah Winfrey, Dirrty Records Founder/CEO Lunden De'Leon embodies the ultimate rags to riches dream. The 31-year-old actress, model and businesswoman was recently hailed by Entrepreneur Magazine as "One of America's Youngest Self-Made Millionaires," as well as featured in Forbes, Business Week, Black Enterprise, Marie Claire and Women's Wall Street.

Former Los Angeles Mayor Jim Hahn proclaimed February 7 "Lunden De'Leon Day," honoring this inspiring female entrepreneur for her contributions to her adopted city. Lunden has also been inducted into the Caribbean Hall of Fame alongside such legends as Bob Marley and Sidney Poitier. Lunden was gracious enough to take the time to answer some of Della Donna Editor April Boland's questions.

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AB: You are a successful actress, model and record label CEO. What was your main career goal originally, and how did you come to have so many diverse opportunities?

LD: My dad was the lead singer in a gospel band. The first time I saw him onstage I knew I wanted to be a part of the music industry. While in college, I modeled for a number of magazines, which eventually led to various movie roles. After college, I met some great local bands who didn't have a record deal so I decided to write up a business plan and find investors, which is how I started Dirrty Records.

AB: Tell us about your background.

LD: I was born in Barbados and grew up in Marion, South Carolina. Growing up was tough. I didn't live in the projects, but I did live right across the street from them. During the summer, I worked in the tobacco field to bring in extra money. One summer I found a job at Burger King, saved $200, and when the time was right, I jumped the Greyhound bus to Los Angeles. It was hard leaving my family but I knew I had to get away from my hometown. I used every stumbling block as a stepping stone.

AB: What do you consider your crowning achievement?

LD: I recently started the Lunden De'Leon Foundation, which is an organization that supports various children's charities. Being able to give back to my community is my crowning achievement.

AB: You are a role model for countless young women. If you could give them one piece of advice, what would it be?

LD: Well, I have two: Take advantage of yourself before letting others take advantage of you. Also, surround yourself with people who support you and believe in your dream.

AB: Who were/are your role models? Who/what inspires you?

LD: My dad was way before his time and played by his own rules. His strength and determination inspired me to say goodbye to fear and own my success.

AB: What are you currently working on?

LD: I recently built a recording studio down in South Carolina as well as a hip-hop division of the label called Dirrty Records South. The first artist on Dirrty Records South is a 19-year old singer named Willie D. I want to give kids down there an opportunity, as well as a chance to be heard.

AB: What plans do you have for the future/upcoming projects?

LD: To continue my charitable work.

Interview with a Fabulous Female

Beverly Donofrio is the acclaimed author of two memoirs: Riding in Cars with Boys: Confessions of a Bad Girl Who Makes Good and Looking for Mary (or, the Blessed Mother and Me). Her first memoir, Riding in Cars with Boys, was made into a movie in 2001 starring Drew Barrymore. Beverly was kind enough to speak with Della Donna editor April Boland about her life and her work.

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AB: What was the first piece of writing that you ever published, and where was it published?

BD: The first piece I ever published was in a short-lived literary magazine published in the 1980’s. It was called Jane and I submitted a short piece, though I no longer remember its title. I do remember it was about waking up to my crazy (in the literal sense of the word) boyfriend, who goes in to take a shower and reappears wearing my underpants. I was in graduate school at Columbia at the time and I had told a fellow student that she should submit to the same magazine. We submitted at roughly the same time. She got an acceptance letter and I got a rejection letter, but when the magazine appeared, we found that they’d published my story under her name. So, in a way we both lost—or won. She has since gone on to be an award-winning writer.

AB: Humor is a constant element throughout your writings. Do you feel that humor got you through some of the dark times you describe in your memoirs?

BD: I don’t know that humor got me through the dark times, but I do know it gave me a less painful and even enjoyable way to think about those dark times. You can laugh or you can cry. Or you can do both. When I’m truly alive, I do both, and the best is when my writing produces both laughter and tears in the reader. People have a much greater tolerance for hearing about your pain if it is couched in or tempered by humor.

AB: What was it like to see Riding in Cars with Boys - in essence, your life story - adapted to the movie screen?

BD: That is a very complex question. Even when I was writing the book I was picturing it as a movie, so in many ways having the movie finally hit the theaters felt like completion, like something I always knew would happen had finally happened. On the other hand, the movie, as movies must, invented some and left out a lot. So, it was extremely odd to see Drew Barrymore up there being called Beverly Donofrio, but saying and doing things that never actually happened, and realizing that people would believe that what they were seeing was the truth. It is also weird to be forever linked with Drew, whose name my publishers still exploit in all my publicity. All of that said, it was great fun to be involved with the movie. I was captivated by so much of it and by so many of the people. It was a very rich and always interesting experience.

AB: You mention in Looking for Mary that you had once associated yourself with Eve more than with Mary, because she is rebellious. That's an interesting contrast, because Mary is often portrayed with a snake under her feet, as she redeems what Eve has done wrong. To use part of one of your titles, she "makes good." Do you think that this is why you felt a connection to Mary, that perhaps she offered you redemption for whatever had come before?

BD: Absolutely. I characterize Riding in Cars with Boys as being in defense of being a bad mother, and Looking for Mary as an apology for being that bad mother. Mary mothered me. She offered forgiveness. She helped me forgive myself, and she taught me to be a better mother. I offer my present fairly peaceful and often joyous life as witness to what faith in her and, ultimately, in God, can do.

AB: A couple of years ago, Time magazine published an article about the fact that many Protestants are now beginning to include Mary in their services and devotion, which has been unthinkable for quite some time. Why do you think Mary is now gaining importance among denominations that previously scorned Catholic adoration for her as idolatry?

BD: Mary is the mother of God. If Christ is both human and divine—a tenet which I do believe is core to all Protestants as well as Catholics—then the human part of him came from Mary, whom God chose. Mary is the model of Christian faith. She said 'yes' to God. She said, "Let it be done according to Your will." This act of faith is the ideal, what all Christians are called to do: To discern what God is asking of us and then to do it. Thy will be done, not mine. I can only guess why Protestants are now opening to the mother of God. Mary is the ideal mother, the uber-mom; she embodies warmth, compassion, unconditional love. I can’t think of a person whose life wouldn’t improve by having a mother like that.

AB: In your opinion, why is there a need for us to recognize the feminine divine?

BD: Because it exists.

AB: What are you currently working on?

BD: My first works of published fiction are just coming out; I hope you don’t mind if I plug them. One is a beautiful picture book called Mary and the Mouse, the Mouse and Mary. Not the Virgin Mary. Its first two lines pretty much tells you what the book is about:

“Mary lived in a very big house with a very little mouse.
The Mouse lived in a little house inside a very big house, with Mary.”

It comes out on August 28 and, to my delight, has been chosen for the Children’s Book of the Month Club. I’ve also written a novel for ages 9 to 12 called Thank you, Lucky Stars, about a girl who loses her best friend on the first day of the fifth grade and has no choice but to become friends with the new weird girl. There is a talent show in it, rock and roll, and disco. It comes out in January. I am loving writing for kids. You can get away with having so much fun. You can even use slapstick. I have begun another that will probably be for 9 to 12 year olds too, but it’s too new to talk about.

AB: Do you have any writing rituals?

BD: I go to my job every day, which is to say I sit at my desk and at least try to write.

AB: What writers have influenced your work the most? What is it about those particular writers that you admire?

BD: Richard Price was a mentor of mine in graduate school. He writes in the vernacular and his prose is muscular and very funny. Dickens spins a great yarn. War and Peace still dazzles me for its scope and characterizations. Jane Austen is a master of the social novel; I read and re-read her. The poet Mary Oliver writes so simply yet profoundly about what it means to be alive in this world. Her poems almost always make me weep. Evelyn Underhill for her insights about mysticism. And Brother Lawrence for writing about living simply, in the presence of God. Anne Lamott’s nonfiction for her honesty and humor. John Lennon and Paul McCartney for the countless songs that touched my heart. William Shakespeare whose breadth of field, characterizations, insights into human nature, as well as social, political and even mythological realms, dramatic pacing, comic timing, is quite simply a miracle. How one man could have written all that he wrote seems humanly impossible.

AB: Do you have a favorite quote that sums up your philosophy of life?

BD: There's one by Shakespeare that I paraphrased in Riding in Cars. I think it’s in Hamlet and since I haven’t a copy on hand, I will paraphrase it here as well:

"Nothing is either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so."

And I like this quote by William Blake. I believe it speaks of the role of the mystic:

"To see the World in a grain of sand
And Heaven in a wildflower
To hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an Hour"