Issue #15

*Letter from the Editor

*Interview with a Fabulous Female: Anita Revel

*Health and Beauty: "The Flat Tummy Gospel, Part 3"

*Lit by Chicks: "The Air Beneath"

*Spirituality: "The Moon and You"

*Lit by Chicks: "Spring in January"

Letter from the Editor

We at Della Donna want to wish all American readers a very happy Independence Day.

This month's issue contains a double dose of "Lit by Chicks" (you thought it was over, but literary chicks abound) as well as the final installment of "The Flat Tummy Gospel."

Enjoy!

- April

Interview with a Fabulous Female

Anita Revel is a self-described "creatrix, author, mother and wife, web diva, dream weaver, lover of life." She is the author of several books and the woman behind Goddess.com.au, a website that helps today's woman connect with her inner goddess. Anita was kind enough to take time from her busy schedule to answer a few of Della Donna editor April Boland's questions.

AB: What sparked your initial interest in goddesses?

AR: The idea of visualizing a woman via the myths of the goddesses appeals to me. The fact that an ancient goddess has been through the highs and lows of the emotional spectrum makes me feel better about myself as a woman. After all, if a goddess can have an "off day," then it must be alright for a mere mortal to have one too, right?

I first became aware of goddess archetypes in a boardroom meeting about 12 years ago. I was being all corporate and so forth (that is, masking my true Self), when one of the girls from the ad agency referred to a colleague as "a real Persephone." I asked her what that meant and she described a personality based on the myth of Persephone - the maiden who was kidnapped to the Underworld. Her interpretation of the myth was that my colleague was a "professional victim," though I now prefer to describe someone with a Persephone personality as someone who is empowered in both the light and shadow sides of her persona. Using the goddess myths as a way of understanding women's motivations, intrinsic morals and natural behaviors just makes sense to me.

AB: What led you to create the website Goddess.com.au?

AR: The more I looked into the goddess myths, the more parallels I found between them and modern women. I began recording my theories online, initially using Goddess.com.au as a repository for my musings (there weren't any blogs back then, so Goddess.com.au was my journaling place)! It wasn't until 2004 when the Goddess-ence 100% pure essential oil blends came into existence that I overhauled the site and made it more meaningful, content-rich, and above all, fun.

AB: Why do you think it is important for modern women to "reconnect with their inner goddesses"?

AR: We're not the first generation to be loaded with stress. In fact, compared with our ancestors I'd say we're the luckiest generation of women to date. We have the freedom to believe in what is right for us, the room to flex our empowerment and unprecedented avenues for expressing emotions on all levels. The key to doing all of these things with dignity and style lies within having a meaningful and rich relationship with Self. It's this healthy and balanced relationship with Self that I call being connected with one's Inner Goddess. When we're connected with the beautiful, inspired, intuitive, sassy and sacred being we were born to be, life is absolutely wonderful.

AB: What first step would you recommend for a woman who has never thought about such things before?

AR: Take the Goddess Birth Sign test and then read a bit more about your birth goddess, research her mythology and her symbolism, and spend some time journaling to find a connection between her energies and your life. Use her as a role model as you come up against certain stresses or situations, asking yourself, "What would goddess do?" You'll be surprised at how this simple little exercise helps you rally your personal power to make the right choices for you.

AB: Is there one particular goddess who guides you?

AR: I resonate with Kwan Yin on a very deep and personal level. I was raised in a house where fear and control ruled rather than love and compassion, so when I "met" Kwan Yin and her gifts of unconditional, unquestioning, undying love and compassion, I was hooked. I willingly and easily fell into her loving embrace, and she's the one whose energies I recall when I'm in need of an esoteric cuddle. Thinking of Kwan Yin as a role model has really softened me and helped me open up to meaningful connections with others.

AB: What is the most interesting thing that has happened as a result of your journey (with the website, the tour, etc.)?

AR: I don't have "most" interesting thing - every experience that reveals itself to me on this journey, whether painful or exhilarating, has been wonderful. I've learned a lot, and now know to trust that everything is perfect in my life. "Everything happens at the perfect time for the perfect reason" is my mantra when I encounter a blockage, and "gratitude" is my mantra at every other time. I've never been so happy!

Health & Beauty

The Flat Tummy Gospel, Part 3

by Kristina Marie Darling

Although gaining weight back isn’t necessarily a bad thing, dating remains completely different before and after a successful diet. This aspect of being overweight became the most depressing one for me, and until I made a conscious decision to focus on the English degree I’d taken out a $30,000 loan for, the dating world made me want to stop eating anything that tasted good.

It’s not just the absolute dearth of men who want to date an overweight woman that made finding a boyfriend difficult. As a skinny girl in a miniskirt, some women say that they get no respect, but I found that people are much more humane and considerate to an attractive woman than they would be to a girl who is physically unattractive. Walking through the Delmar Loop one day in daisy dukes after reaching my goal weight on a crash diet, a man stopped me and said, “You look very French. I mean that as a compliment.” This was not an isolated incident. Guys told me I looked nice on a fairly regular basis. When I gained it all back, however, I wasn’t prepared for men to change completely.

When I was still happily packing on the pounds, I was downright astonished when a guy from my writing class asked me to have coffee with him. I’d had my eye on him all semester, primarily because he seemed like the tortured artist type. He had black hair, wore rumpled sweaters, and carried around a copy of Gravity’s Rainbow. (Most people don’t know this, but I pretty much only date brooding short story writers and sulking dark haired men who paint when they’re not too depressed.) When he asked me out, I remember thinking, Someone must have changed the laws of the universe just for me.

He picked me up from the school library on the night of our date in his brand new Mitsubishi and told me when I reached for the door handle, “My car’s kind of… uh… messed up. I had a food fight with my ex-girlfriend in the back seat and when I called the cops on her, all my stuff got even more messed up.” He smiled at me and raised one eyebrow, as though this explanation was the sexiest thing I’d heard all day.

Although he had made some attempt to clean the interior of his car, splotches of grease and flecks of cheese still glistened on the seats and dashboard. I was wearing a four hundred dollar, full-length, black Jones New York coat and tried my best to get in the car without getting nacho toppings and fajita residue on my lovely attire.

At this point, I thought that as an overweight girl I most likely would have to put up with some grief to get a guy, and figured that it could be worse. I asked him, “What kind of music do you like? I love the Smashing Pumpkins, even though it’s not the 90’s anymore.” I smiled and fixed my hair, hoping that I could somehow salvage this date. He ignored me, and droned on about his ex-girlfriend.

I knew that if I had somehow lost the weight before he asked me out, this incident would have never happened. He would have at least shown me a shred of respect and asked if he could reschedule, mainly because he would have been sure that I had other options. But unfortunately, that night, he knew I didn’t. I thought back to happier days of being a size four, when guys would hold the door for me when I walked into Borders and all I had to do was wear a halter top to the St. Louis Bread Company if I wanted a free soda. Not only was I catered to as a thin person, but even basic polite gestures, like guys picking me up for a coffee date after stopping at the car wash, were completely absent from my life when I gained the weight back.

I noticed that my date had pulled out his cell phone, and it wasn’t long before he said, “Uh… my ex-girlfriend left her student I.D. at my house, and I need to call my mom and make sure she picked it up.”

As he dialed, I asked him, “Is this the food fight girl? The one you called the cops on? You mean you’re actually going to give her stuff back?” As I furrowed my brow and tried to figure this out, he kept shushing me and telling me to be quiet.

When he was done with the call, he said, “Sorry. My ex, Susan, is kind of still in love with me. I hang out with her a lot because I feel bad for her. And she always gets pissed off when I won’t make out with her.” He told me this as though every guy has a crazy ex named Susan with whom he occasionally has nacho fights. Then he asked me, “Do you mind if we drive around for awhile instead of getting coffee? I’m kind of traumatized by that food fight, and don’t really feel like going in a coffee shop. And since you live way out in the suburbs, that ride can just be our driving around experience.” At this point, I found myself feeling pretty traumatized as well, so I didn’t object. He made a U-turn and pulled into the Starbucks drive-through, bought me the cheapest coffee on the menu, then began the drive to my house.

Apparently this guy was trying to get out of going on a date with me, and had very thoroughly insulted my intelligence in the process. I went home and ordered cheese bread from Papa John’s, feeling as though I’d sunk to a new low in my mission to find a decent guy. The respect I received from men as a thin person as opposed to an overweight girl remained as different as a canister of Betty Crocker cream cheese frosting and a Weight Watcher’s dinner, eaten alone on a Friday night.

*

I lost the weight and gained it back again in college, too, this time using the ability to get a decent date as an incentive. The day I decided to diet, I realized I also had to choose a diet, which proved more complicated than I’d anticipated. When I Googled “South Beach Diet,” I found that it came with charts of “good carbohydrates” and “bad carbohydrates,” and overall it appeared too difficult to figure out. I remember thinking that if I ever went to a restaurant, I’d look like a loser flipping through my complicated chart to see what I could order. Atkins sounded effective from what I heard from friends and family, but I was still incredulous. I didn’t think I’d survive a diet of nothing but meat and cheese, considering the fact that I’m practically a vegetarian. Besides, I couldn't understand how I could lose weight eating nothing but fat anyway. The fashion model diet (in other words, champagne and cigarettes) seemed glamorous and more fun than what was out there, but I thought it would be hard to keep my grades up if I was partially inebriated all the time and kept taking cigarette breaks. Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig sounded doable, but were too expensive for a college student to afford. The advertised seven dollars a week to be a member at some of these places often didn’t include food, weight loss pills, shakes, and metabolism boosters. I’d heard it could cost hundreds of dollars to finally drop the pounds at one of these places. Even the slacker’s answer to losing weight, those diet pills advertised on late night television, were extremely expensive too, retailing for forty to fifty dollars for a one-month supply.

I opted to reduce my intake of food, which seemed simple but proved difficult. On campus, temptation lurked everywhere: the coffee places in the library and at the student center, the cookies next to the cash registers, the vending machines, even the Godiva display in campus store. At times I felt like walking around campus with my eyes closed. The coffee shop near campus proved to be my worst enemy for awhile, and although I had to walk a couple of blocks to get there, I was never disappointed. When I opened the heavy wooden doors and saw the glistening glass case of chocolate chip scones, raspberry sammies, crumb cake, and blueberry muffins on neat little plates, I usually decided it was okay to cheat just this once.

I took the path that snacks tread, and sinned against miniskirts and meal replacement bars, but did not repent. After gaining, losing, and gaining my flabby stomach and thunder thighs, I sat in the coffee shop one afternoon and thought about the whole idea of dieting. It was like I was cursed, because no matter what I tried, I kept gaining it all back. I also thought about the fitness trainers at my mom's health club and how enthusiastic they are about exercising. For me, it was torture. Those perky little women at the gym always said that eating plain granola and plain celery made them feel good, because, after all, you are what you eat. I had never felt that way – for me, chocolate and whipped cream and pizza make me feel better than wheat bread any day. And I knew why I had never been able to keep the pounds off: I genuinely loved food.

After class, I went home and ordered a pizza. I felt as though I’d finally been freed from a health food store.

*

After giving in to key lime cheesecake and the little vanilla cupcakes that they sell at Starbuck’s, I eventually began to perceive myself and the people around me differently. First of all, I knew that the glory of the Flat Tummy Gospel that these fitness trainers preach is nothing compared to the stellar diet deviations I’ve had so much experience with. Also, I knew that most people want to change their bodies, and often spend a lot of time and money trying to get to a thong-worthy weight. Even though it’s tempting to buy thigh shapers and diet pills, I’ve started to realize that a hot body is never, by any means, permanent. I’ve always been a good listener, Bush joke teller, and pasta cooker, and although these things don’t change with cupcakes or age, they’re easy to forget when there are so many swimsuit calendars around. This time, I’m not going to forget. Like Donna Stonecipher writes in The Reservoir, “Inside the body it’s dark. But maybe the bones glow.” And there’s nothing like a candy bar to light you up inside.

Kristina Marie Darling is a graduate of Washington University in St. Louis. She is the author of four chapbooks, which include Fevers and Clocks (March Street Press, 2006) and The Traffic in Women (Dancing Girl Press, 2006). A Pushcart Prize nominee in 2006, her poems, reviews, and essays have appeared or are forthcoming in many journals, which include Janus Head, Rattle, The Mid-America Poetry Review, Rain Taxi, The Adirondack Review, CutBank, The Mid-American Review, Jacket, Redactions: Poetry and Poetics, and others. Recent awards include residencies from the Centrum Foundation and the Mary Anderson Center for the Arts.

"Audrey"

by Lori Earley

Lori Earley's oil paintings are a combination of classical realistic rendering with a personal element of distortion. This distortion comes from her innate desire to transform her emotions into tangible planes that express what she feels, not what she sees. Painting has always been a means of self-expression for her. Therefore, she paints because she must, not necessarily because she wants to. Subconsciously or not, the figures she paint are a reflection of herself and whatever mood she is in at the time, so every painting is in essence a self-portrait. Each mood is distinct, ranging from subliminal, cryptic expressions to more cognitive states of being and the eyes of her subjects are often the primary focus of expression.

Lori's work is a fusion of personal experiences and influences - moody atmospheres, Victorian-inspired couture, and timeless elements all laced with clandestine symbolism. The figures she paints exist in their own esoteric realm and time, and each painting offers a glimpse into their anomalous world.

You can find more of Lori's work at her website, LoriEarley.com.

Lit by Chicks

The Air Beneath

by Megan Sebestyen

I say goodbye to the ground
As I fall from the heavy connection
Of gravity pulling me down.
I fall up, free from weight of worry.
Seeing the responsibilities of time's restraints
Slide from my form,
I wriggle my toes
In the free air.
I care not for the Earth
From such a great height.
I swallow in great gulps of this sweetness.
For do you realize I must go?
Soon, this free moment will fall from under my feet,
Sucked back down by gravity's firm fist.
I will be forced to depart, down,
To the lowly ground.


Megan Sebestyen is a student at The University of La Verne in Southern California, pursuing a degree in Journalism and Creative Writing. Having always loved to write, she aspires to work on a magazine staff. Her work has appeared in The Durango Herald, The El Diablo, and Escape Artist Travel Magazine.

Spirituality

The Moon and You

by Jenni Piech

Have you ever seen one of those films or TV programs where a group of young, usually naked witches get together at the full Moon and start dancing around in the moonlight? Ever felt the urge to join in? Well, maybe you haven’t, but if (like me) you have, don’t worry, it’s perfectly natural. Throughout history and in many different cultures the Moon has always been strongly linked to female energy. In ancient beliefs the Moon was seen as the symbol for the Goddess, and many modern-day Pagans and Wiccans still celebrate this connection between the Moon and feminine power. Yet many of us non-witchy type folk probably don't know much about the changing phases of the Moon and the effects they have on us. Women today seem out of sync with our traditional source of feminine energy and magic.

The Moon symbolizes the universally fundamental cycle of birth, growth, death and rebirth. Likewise, women also experience phases depending on where we are in our menstrual cycle. We find ourselves influenced emotionally by our hormones, and our experience of ourselves and others can vary quite noticeably. (I'm sure our partners would agree!)

It is generally believed that menstrual cycles coincide with the cycles of the Moon and that, before electricity became so popular, most women cycled together. Although this is no longer the case, it is interesting to note that it takes the Moon 28-29 days to complete a full orbit around the Earth - the exact length of time between the average woman’s cycles.

Many ancient cultures revered and celebrated the link between women and the Moon, leading to the creation of numerous myths and legends about Moon Goddesses. These Goddess stories feature in Chinese, Greek, Native American, Aztec, Mayan and Celtic legend, just to name a few. I particularly like the story of the Mayan Moon Goddess, Ix Chel. One myth states that the Sun was her lover, but that her grandfather was very upset with this and threw lightning at her out of jealousy, killing her. Dragonflies sang over her for 183 days until she awoke and followed the Sun back to his palace. Soon after, the Sun also became jealous of Ix Chel, thinking that she was having an affair with his brother, the Morning Star. The Sun threw her out of heaven and then persuaded her back home, only to become jealous again soon after her return. It is said that Ix Chel was angered by the behavior of the Sun and went off into the night, remaining invisible whenever the Sun comes around. She is also said to nurse women of Earth through pregnancy and birth.

Today, many women still find comfort in an awareness of their spiritual and emotional link with the Moon. It can almost feel as if the Moon is a kind of guardian – a presence who watches over us during the different phases of our lives. It can also help to remind us that our menstrual cycles do not always need to be seen as a burden. Rather, we are part of the many cycles which happen around our planet and within the entire universe!

Jenni Piech began freelance writing in 2006 and has been published in various online magazines, including Nuts4Chic.com. She is now working on her second novel, a project which involves a lot of research, which is good because it makes her feel all clever. She lives in a cozy cottage in south-east England with her fiancé, Tim, and their cat, Cheesecake. Jenni can be reached via e-mail or MySpace.

"Judith with the Head of Holofernes"

by Lacey Lewis

The artist says, "I was inspired to paint 'Judith with the Head of Holofernes' by the many artists who had painted her before me, especially Artemisia Gentileschi and Gustav Klimt. Not only was I interested in painting this subject to feel connected with history, but also to portray a strong female historical character through my unique vision. Each rendition of Judith has its own flavor, influenced by the artist who created it and the time period it was created in. I am fascinated by this, and will no doubt revisit this and other historical subjects in the future.

For my version of Judith with the Head of Holofernes, I strived to depict a triumphant Judith standing over the severed head of the conquered Holofernes. I chose to create a painting that shows a scene after the event of his beheading, as opposed to showing the gory deed itself, to focus on not only Judith’s daring, determination, and victory, but also symbolically as a universal expression of the desire to defeat inequality and oppression in general."


An award winning contemporary realist figurative artist who paints in a classical style, Lacey Lewis was raised in Syracuse, NY and migrated to Kansas to escape the snow and cultivate a new future. Working mainly in oil, she employs traditional techniques and is committed to the revival of realist standards and archival methods. Her preferred subject matter is the human form, as she senses that all of humanity, throughout time and space, regardless of race, gender or age, share common experiences and emotions. It is therefore natural for her to identify with and communicate through images of people. The human subject forces the viewer to engage the artwork and enables the artist to express an entire range of ideas from the subtle to the intense. As a woman, Lacey instinctively relates to images of women in art. It is vital that her art, at a minimum, expresses the beauty that she observes; often that expression of beauty is an end in itself. Other times, it is used as a lure to entice the viewer to look a little longer so that a deeper meaning may be revealed to them. Through her narratives, she expresses various psychological states and processes, such as the inner turmoil that often ensues after an emotional trauma. Delighted by the variety among humanity, Lacey also work in portraiture, regularly taking on private commissions. You can find more of her work at her website, LaceyLewis.com, and her blog, Lacey's Studio. She can also be reached via e-mail.

Lit by Chicks

Spring in January

by Nirvan Hope

On a winter afternoon
a rhododendron in full flower,
cherry trees along my road
shower petal blossoms
long before their blooming time.

Every living thing
pushes out of control,
a hurtling trajectory
into chaos.
Human doing?

Or was this planned
before we crawled
from mud and muck,
mere pawns
in a transition time,

tools, slaves of a mineral world?
A world that longs
to end oppression
by all pulsing green
and growing life.

We do not know
the language of mineral.

Even if that was
the original plan,
can we emerge
as pacifier
of mineral force,

protector of
the world of green,
through a balancing
of superb proportion
where all will win

and rhododendron and cherry trees
will learn to bloom again in Spring?

Nirvan Hope is the author of the forthcoming book “Three Seasons of Bees and Other Natural and Unnatural Things.” She writes and takes photographs in the Pacific Northwest and is currently working on a memoir set in England and Northern Nigeria. Her work has appeared in regional, national and international publications. You can find her photographer at her website, Earth Rhythms Photography.